I've always heard people say, "live for yourself!" and "the only person that matters is you!" but how many people really live that way? How many people wake up everyday and make decisions with their happiness in mind? How many people have the courage to walk away from crippling situations without considering what people will say? How many people's insecurities stem from worry about how people perceive them, their looks, their actions, their decisions, their conditions, their status?
I think it's easier said than done.
Sometimes 'people' are friends and acquaintances that can easily be dismissed. But what if they are the people that you love, respect, feel indebted to, crave their approval? Then what? Then we sacrifice, and compromise, and compensate, and reorganize, and and and... Until there's nothing left. Until your very life's worth is dependent on other people's perception of you.
That's not a good life to live.
That's the life I've been living.
I don't seek to harm people or be careless in my decision-making but ultimately my life is mine. My life belongs to me. Living for myself will have to be intentional and on purpose, it doesn't come to me naturally. I've made decisions to make other people happy, and when those decisions backfired and the same people expressed their disappointment at my failure, I've made quick decisions and adjustments just to please them, without taking the time to nurse myself. Sounds insane right?
But here's the kicker. You can never please people.
So would I rather displease you and be happy and live for me? Or displease you by trying to please you and failing, and in the process make myself unhappy? This is a simple one.
If I live intentionally for myself and I fail, at least I'll know I tried. I'll cherish the experiences and journey, and hold on to my lessons.
Last night, for the first time in my life, I decided to live for myself. I will continue to love, cherish and honor my loved ones, but I have taken possession of my life. I will love myself, be accountable to myself, push myself to grow, respect myself, ask people to respect my privacy, only seek my approval, and continue to make myself happy.
There are so many things in the journey of life that will come your way to discourage you, take you off track, steal your joy, question you and judge you, I've decided to be kind to myself.